How to deal with uncontrolled jealousy

Jealousy is like a double-edged sword, says psychology professor Clifford Lazarus. In small quantities, it protects the feeling of our union. But it is necessary to allow him to flourish; it is slowly killing the relationship. How to deal with an excess of jealousy? For whatever feelings we have no hidden jealousy, whatever her expressed for her is always the fear of the disappearance of a loved one, loss of self-confidence and increasing loneliness. "The tragic irony of jealousy is that over time it begins to feed the imagination, often divorced from reality - says cognitive therapist Clifford Lazarus. - Jealous is dictated by suspicions to the partner, who denies everything, and trying to protect from hurtful words that are about to be seen as a confirmation of his accuser guesswork. However, the transition to the interlocutor on the defensive is a natural response to the pressure and the emotional onslaught jealous." Learn more with our free webcam gay chat blog.

We run the risk of losing a loved one is not due to his romantic interest to a third party

If such conversations are repeated and partner- "accused" over and over again to report, where he was met and with whom, it is devastating and gradually separates it from part- "prosecutor". In the end, we run the risk of losing a loved one is not due to his romantic interest to a third party: he simply cannot stand the constant atmosphere of mistrust, duties reassure jealous and take care of his emotional comfort.


If you feel jealousy, you better to start to ask yourself questions, you can more constructively to take your experiences. Ask yourself what it is now makes me jealous? What I'm actually afraid of losing? What I'm trying to keep? What's in a relationship prevents me feel confident? Listening to him, you can hear the following: "I am not good enough (good) for him," "If this man would leave me, I cannot do it". An analysis of these questions and answers will help reduce the level of an imaginary threat, thereby dissolving the sense of jealousy.

Jealousy often feed our subconscious fears

Jealousy often feed our subconscious fears that have nothing to do with the intentions of the partner, so the next stage is the critical attitude to what seems to us a proof of infidelity lover. The ability to soberly assess what could be the real triggers our alarms - the most important step in solving the problem. Communicate with your partner with respect and trust. Our actions affect our thoughts and feelings. Showing confidence in the partner, we begin to experience more and more anxiety and jealousy. In contrast, when we open a loved one and treat him with love, you feel better. Avoid pronouns "you" and try as much as you can say "I". Instead of saying, "You did not have to do this" or "You made me worry," build phrase differently: "It was very hard when it happened." Only we are responsible for the manifestation of his jealousy. Your assessment of the situation is radically different from how it looks on your partner. Try to remain objective, even if at times be tempted to lash out at him with the charges.