How to handle conflicts in the couple

All the couples have conflicts. According to Ashley Davis Bush, a psychotherapist specializing in Couple Therapy, the most common disagreements and arguments are those that deal with money, children and sex. Learn more with our webcam chat blog and remember that you’re always welcome in random gay chat.

So, here are some tips to manage conflicts in the couple and help them to make coexistence more fluid and lasting:

1. Do not be afraid to approach the conflict.

Some couples lock themselves in and avoid talking about the problem for fear of arguments or not knowing how to do it. However, healthy couples are willing to talk (peacefully) about what is happening.

2. View the conflict as an opportunity.

Emotionally healthy couples view conflict as a means to grow together, an opportunity to better understand each other and to clarify their needs and values. Conflict should not be turned into a struggle for power, but an opportunity for both to create something new, a new way of carrying on the relationship.

3. Value the perspective of the other.

Healthy couples believe that each has a valid point of view, whether they agree with the other or not. They realize that there are no legitimate differences and understand that each person is different and has their own criteria and values.

4. Appreciate our contribution to the conflict.

Healthy relationships members own their own ideas. They are willing to see how they are contributing to solve a given problem and give it the value it has.

5. Respect yourself.

To insult, to curse or to beat does not solve the differences, on the contrary, it aggravates them. On the contrary, showing a respectful attitude towards the other, instead of being on the defensive, not focusing solely on one's reasons, but being interested in what the other has to say, is the key to understanding.

6. Listen carefully.

Adequate attention must be paid to the other person's reasons. Do not interrupt when the other speaks or comments like "that's not right" or "where did you get such a stupid idea?", You have to be present and listen to your partner's point of view.

7. Kiss and hug when finished.

Usually, after a discussion, healthy couples come to feel supported by their partner, listened and understood. It's healthy to even apologize or say something like "I love you. We are in this together, "for example.

8. Set a time to talk.

If there is a problem in the relationship, we should ask the partner when it is okay to talk about it, setting an appointment. This is important because not asking can trigger anxiety the other person, which will take you to take a defensive reaction. It's as simple as saying "Is now a good time?"

9. Speak in first person.

The use of "I", like "I think, I feel, I hope, I want" is a good tactic. When your partner hears the word "you" such as "you did this" or "why did you say that?", This can also provoke a defensive attitude.

10. Try to put yourself in the other's place.

Trying to look at the problem through your partner's eyes, describing out loud how you think your partner feels is a very positive empathy exercise. Then the couple can respond by accepting or clarifying how they feel.